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Now, Alana's nudity was like the nudity of models I'd had in life drawing classes while in college many years ago. I saw the architecture of the human body from the bones to muscles and finally skin. I saw forms and color and light and texture, not the naked body of a desirable woman. I think, however, Alana was disappointed that she didn't excite me this time like she had the first time.The quick one minute-sketches were piling up on the floor. I'd started to understand her body, how it was put together, how it moved, and understanding enhanced her astonishing beauty. She was an amazing model. With Alana, I could celebrate the beauty and passion of the female form with my art."Hold that pose for another minute," I said and continued the sketch I'd blocked out in the previous minute. She was leaning forward on her stiffened straight arms, her hands on the stool, and she'd pulled one leg up, resting that foot on an ottoman. Her stiff arms squeezed her heavy breasts together, not a. I didn't care. The only thing I had on my mind was Kevin. I called him again and surprisingly he answered his phone. I could tell he was upset by the clipped and deliberate way that he was speaking. But he seemed to be very under control. Or at least I thought he was."Karla, I ... I understand that you probably want to talk about this," he said. "But I need some time. I need a few hours to get my thoughts together and to get my emotions under control. I wouldn't want to do anything stupid. I'm at home. I'm going to take a nap and try to come to terms with ... well you know. Just give me a few hours and call before you come home."It sounded extremely reasonable under the circumstances. But something about the whole situation seemed unreal."I love you Kevin. I'm so sorry," I said. He just hung up. It was the first time that I can remember, that he didn't say he loved me back. That alone hurt me. I was very fearful that I had hurt my marriage deeply. I couldn't give him the time he.
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